Sunday, March 28, 2010

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting....

Next to the word "Limbo" in the dictionary would be a picture of yours truly; not DOING the Limbo, trying to get my big ol' belly under the stick, but just existing in a state of limbo. In grad school we would have pretentiously called it a Liminal Phase, but these days I don't use words like that so often. Every bit of my brain is wrapped up in waiting right now, and it makes it hard to think about anything else. What am I waiting for?

1. It's time for this family to get a bigger car. I've been squeezing my belly through a tiny space in a 2 door coupe to put my toddler in a car seat in the tiny back seat for long enough I suppose. Plus we cannot fit two car seats into the back row of our compact cars. So we are doing our research about cars and loans and I'm just waiting to see what kind of minivan we end up with. Fingers crossed it is smallish, as fuel efficient as possible, and a non-monstrosity that doesn't make me feel like I'm driving a boat. This could take a while to find....

2. House hunting, especially in this market, which is made up primarily of Short Sales right now, is a major waiting game. We have three different offers out on houses right now, 2 of which have us in first position. We just have to wait for that wonderful 3rd Party Approval, otherwise known as Behemoth Bank, which moves slower than molasses in January even though you'd think they would like to get some money out of a sinking ship and not end up with another foreclosure on their hands. Everybody send hurry up vibes to the banks!! Then we'll just see which one comes through first, really. I can't decide which one I'm rooting for, it changes on a daily basis. Plus maybe we will keep looking at other houses and then who knows how many offers we will end up putting down. So right now, I have this strange feeling like my brain really wants to make plans (nesting, anyone?) but I can't, because I don't know if we could be in a house in a month, or two, or four, and which house and where. Should I start nesting my little apartment ( I have been anyway, but I've reached a stage where I don't know WHAT to do now and I'm just sort of flummoxed by this waiting game. And lastly...

3. I've got a little over 5 weeks left until my due date, which of course doesn't mean much, except that I'm in the most uncomfortable stage of my pregnancy, the part where you kind of wish you could go into a coma for a month or you had a ginormous fast forward button on your life. Pregnancy is the ultimate waiting game, and the last month or so is the ultimate of the ultimate. So that's my life right now. It's amazing how preoccupied you can be with waiting, how much time you can spend thinking and wondering. I wish I could be better at putting it out of my mind and having a little faith. I'll keep working on that, and I'd welcome any suggestions!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Morning Status Report.

Every morning lately, when I go to retrieve The Kiddo from his bed, this is the greeting I get:

"Daddy? Work? Yamma? Work? Doel? Seeping? Kessy? Bye Bye?"

*a pause for translation* Boo is listing where everybody is when they are not here. Yamma is Gramma, and Doel is his Uncle Joel, who, even though I keep saying that he is actually at work, for some reason Boo has decided that he is always sleeping, because I said that ONCE, 3 weeks ago. Kessy is his Aunt Kelsey, and I guess he's not sure where she is, so she is just Bye Bye, or not here.

This is what I hear:

"What, you again? Just you? Just Mommy? No Daddy, no Grandma, or perhaps any awesome aunts or uncles? Anybody? Alright, I guess I'll hang out with this old Mommy again."

No, I don't feel too terribly sorry for myself; I know he is going through a phase where he is just figuring out how the world works and how people come and go in his home and his life and his day. I also know that someday he will realize how lucky he was to have me at home with him. But until then, I wouldn't mind too terribly if one of these mornings he said something like:

"Mommy! Here!!" 

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

After nearly 2 years, I'm still new at this!!

A week or so ago, I was trying to get out the door to get to the Children's Museum right when it opened. Walter had his coat and shoes on, which always makes him hang on the door and whine about "Ouside?" (outside) until we go, and I had a few more things to pack into the bag. So I was grateful when he found himself a little something to do, and to keep himself quiet. I checked on him and saw him bent over my purse and made some quick mental calculations as to how much damage he could possibly do with my purse. Deciding it wasn't much, I hustled back into the kitchen to get some snacks packed, etc. Life was good there for a minute, as packing snacks with a quiet, happy toddler is a lot faster than packing snacks with a toddler who is standing on your feet and shrieking about "ouside!" (which is the next step after hanging on the door). Then I heard from the living room, "Waltuh no! No!" causing me to chuckle to myself. It's just so funny when he does his impression of me. Then reality hit me, and I had a little heart stopping moment of fear. Walter says that when he has a) just heard me say that to him, often after pouring water out of the bathtub and onto the floor, and recently b) when he thinks he's done something that I WILL say that to, when I see it. Running into the living room, this is what I saw:

As you can see, he had already pulled quite a few things out of my bag, which would have been fairly easy to stuff back in. Apparently, my "quick mental calculations" forgot about the can of powdered milk I had already packed in my bag for his bottle later on.